Just let me sleep

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sat Jul 12, 2014 11:42 am

"Still crazy" He said. His old life shouldn't be a concern, he reminds himself. Preaching about what he'd lost, it'd only hurt Derald, wouldn't it? "Thanks," He said, a smile coming to his face. Derald had changed, for the better. At least trying to understand people like him. "You could try." He said casually, internally shaking his head at the guy's outstreched arms. They'd only really hugged once, and the first time probably didn't even count. He was reflecting on that when the time subject was brought up. "Oh...kinda lied about that. I've practically got eternity. But talking's a drain, I've got a few hours left, at least," He didn't mention what happened when he used up that time. Just faded into the background. Invisible. Mute. It sucked.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:19 pm

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Derald laughed and got off the bed, wrapping his arms around the herenothere Xavy, not really sure if he wanted to squeeze in for a real hug. Because not feeling him there may just feel worse. "Ya want me to see how she's doin'?" Derald asked, it's been 2 years, there were bound to be changes back home. Well, he doesn't know if he was even allowed back in D12, but he'll find a way. When Xavy confessed about lie Derald let go and took a step back, almost a little shock, but it was kinda expected, with him beating around the bush. Derald still doesn't know what was the point he wanted to make. "Oh you asshole," Derald gave him a grin, taking his seat back on the bed, leaning on the headboard cross legged. "I reckon' I can spare a few hours." He pat the empty side of the bed, gesturing for him to sit, if.. he could. Standing is tiring. "Were you... together with her? Rose.. I mean," he awkwardly brought in a question, hesitant to continue with this topic but he was really curious. Love was a curious little thing.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:35 pm

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"No. She's fine," Not really, he didn't know what'd happened back in Twelve, but it wasn't good. Will was alone now, wasn't he? "That's what you think," he said, knowing Derald needed sleep. Xavier looked at the bed, thought for a moment. He could at least pretend to sit down, give the guy some sense of life. "Together? No," he shook his head lightheartedly, joining Derald on the bed. "Neither of us worked up the courage, I guess. But at the Reapings..." Another smile came to his lips then, remembering her goodbye. He'd been so sure then, so sure he'd make it home. That they could be together after that. But that was before he even knew Derald existed. Funny, how one person changes your perspective. "Maybe that's a good thing," He said it so quietly, he didn't know if his friend had heard. He hoped not.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:15 pm

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Derald's face drop to disappointment when he heard that they went together. Well, he won't know whether to feel better or feel horrible if that was the case. Derald raised an eyebrow as Xavy kinda trailed off there and daydreamed with that smile on his face. Usually Derald would've totally just missed it like someone trying to throw a needle at a potato, but it was so quiet that night that it was impossible to not hear the little things too. "And maybe it wasn't." he mumbled along just as quietly, fidgeting with his fingers on his lap. Sometimes he wondered what if he lost, what if he died. Xavy had people waiting for him back home, friends, family, pets. If Derald was gone, another day would've still gone by just as easily as if he was alive. He was fighting for his life, and he didn't even know why. That's what's so annoying back then, why was he fighting so hard when there was barely anything to fight for? Derald cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, "Anyways, what did happen at the Reapings?" Changing the topic once again. He can't take back anything anymore, whether he like it or not. And the smiles were back, more curious about what happened back then.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:45 pm

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Xavier shook his head. No, it was a good thing they hadn't been together. Good that she didn't have to feel tied down by his death. Even if she didn't make the choice he thought she'd make. He fell into his thoughts for a moment, only looking up when Derald cleared his throat. "Doesn't matter now, just a-" He stopped, looked at Derald for a second, "No matter how many times I say that, you won't believe it, huh?" Then he sighed. Fine. What could it hurt, telling him about it? "It was at the goodbyes, just a sudden thing. I don't think she- She probably knew she'd never see me again. That's what..." He stopped again, laughing at himself. Why was it so hard to just say it? He got to his feet, put his hands behind his head. "She... we kissed. Right before they took me away. I thought..." He'd paced to the window, trying to hold back that blasted smile. Then he shook his head again and went back to his friend. Friend. Funny word, that. "I don't... It didn't mean anything, really. None of it." He sighed, "I'm depressing you, aren't I?"

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:03 am

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Derald shook his head with that cheeky grin of his as Xavy kinda gave up telling him how much he didn't matter. Because he did. He hugged his pillow and got comfy while the story continued. But Xavy got flustered as he tried to explain what happened back then. "Aawww, ain't that sweet?" He teased Xavy as the memories flooded his friend into a smile. "It could, y'know. You never really know." He shrugged, this love thing is weird. Why kiss someone if it doesn't mean anything? Why would anyone do that? Impulse? Got the wrong person? Derald chuckled and pinched the air with his fingers to showed it to him, "A lil'."

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 1:11 pm

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Xav just resorted to rolling his eyes. He'd always been good at that. "Told you. I shouldn't be talking about me," he said, and he shouldn't. That's not why he showed up tonight, not why he did anything these days. “This… it’s not about me, Derald,” He looked at his friend again as he said it. He wanted that message to get through. “This is about you. You and Annie.”

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:11 pm

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Derald sighed upwards, making his fringe dance around in the air before settling back down. It was back to him again. Xavy was adamant on bringing the topic to him and his ability to have his own love life. "Riiiiiight." His fingers drummed the side desk beside his bed, letting it go quiet before he figured out what to say. "What about me and Annie again?" Genuinely asking a question, he didn't see the link in what he said, if there was suppose to be any at all. But saying her name made his mouth tug a slight smile.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:25 pm

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Dense. As always. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as Xav had thought. "You know. More than friends?" He said, noting how the guy'd smiled at the use of her name. Xav knew he was right about them; even back then, he'd known. But Derald didn't need to know everything. "Two years is enough time to at least consider it."

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 3:09 pm

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Derald slowly shook his head and make a guess, "We're best friends?" He ran his fingers through his hair. Consider what? Deep in the back of his instinctive mind he knew what Xavy was talking about, but he didn't acknowledge it. He just stared at Xavy as if he was the answer to everything.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 3:49 pm

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"That's still friends" He said. Dense. "You really are in denial," Xav shook his head as he spoke. Hopeless, Dense, Derald. "Just. Ask. Her. Out." He put emphasis on each word. This was taking to long to get through his skull. Then hee turned and looked at him again, an old memory coming to mind, "Just work on your pick-up line first."

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:15 pm

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Derald covered his face with one hand, feeling the blush taking over his face again. He thought over his feelings but he still didn't know what to understand from it. "I mean, I... really.. like her and all." Derald said quietly, not looking up at all. "But should I really? How would you even if she.." He couldn't say it out loud again, a word so foreign to him. He looked up to Xavy, face still red when he insulted his selections of pickup lines. He grinned to him, "Hey, my pickup lines are awesome. Only problem is, I don't have any."

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:35 pm

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"You've got one. Gave you a friend for all eternity," He said, "Still not awesome, of course." Xav had let him try to work out his own feelings before trying to help him along any further. "I still have working eyes. Sort of," That sounded weird, coming from his mouth, "Trust me, okay?" He knew this was all new to Derald, but for a guy like him, it was best to just jump right in.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 6:38 pm

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Derald pointed out, "But it still worked." And then he just zoned out. Having his mind preoccupied with new thoughts and feelings, he felt like he was only half listening to what Xavy was talking about. He was actually trying to recall back the days they spent together, if there were any signs at all. Other than that kiss on the cheek, and the thought of replaying that made him flush to himself, still hiding his face from Xavy. He nodded a couple of times when Xavy reassured him. Of course he trusted Xavy, just maybe not on something like this. But what does he got to lose taking advice from a dead friend? "..Yeah if this ain't gonna work out I'm holdin' it against you and just marryin' my dog." Derald laughed nervously, knocking his head back onto the wall behind him.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 9:59 pm

"But you're willing to try." Xav said, watching Derald trying to hide his face. It amused him a bit, how he was trying to pretend that Xav was wrong. "Like I said, can't marry your dog. So this will work out." As long as he didn't freeze up, or say the wrong thing. But Derald could handle just this one thing, couldn't he?

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:53 pm

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Derald rested his chin on his folded arms, looking out the window to try and clear his red face, "Oh can it..." But he couldn't help but glance back, somehow thinking that one minute Xavy would stop replying and he won't be there anymore. "Watch me prolly not make it work out," Derald chuckled and sighed. He didn't know what to do and how to do it. Obviously he'd probably blow it up in his own face.

also. 1000 post. woooooooo

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 11:30 pm

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Xav frowned. He wasn't supposed to doubt himself. Oh well, it was only natural, wasn't it? "Well with that attitude," He scoffed, getting to his feet and re-joining Derald at the window. "She likes you. As you," He said, nearly passing through the wall as he spoke. "So... it's impossible to screw up," Xav didn't know how much of this was actually doing much good. He was running out of footholds here.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Sun Jul 13, 2014 11:48 pm

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Derald raised both his hands in surrender and attempted a smile, "I'll try, okay? No promises but I'll.. try." He tried to hide his smile when Xavy made a huge claim, but half of him didn't want to believe it, or couldn't believe it, more likely. Was what she did that day really more than just a thank you gesture? He didn't know, and he didn't want to fret over it till he brain hurt. "If you say so," Derald shrugged for him, almost just continuing to humour his friend so that he'll stop nagging like a mother desperate to sell her son off.

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Mon Jul 14, 2014 12:38 am

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"That's all I want. Try," Xav said. He could see it written all over his face. How Derald didn't fully believe him. But as long as he said it. "I'm holding you to that," He stepped forward, pulling himself out of the wall. He'd have hours if he stayed in this state. He'd have longer if he just faded away now. More chances to talk, to make sure he stayed on the right track. But all Derald needed was the push. He and Annie, alone, could work it out. Be happy. Happiness. That was the goal, wasn't it? "It's going to be a while before I can bother you again. Sleep some, will you?" But he wasn't letting Derald go just yet. Swiftly, he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his friend. Making himself solid, he could already feel his energy draining away. "You have to stop blaming yourself. For everything," he whispered. The low tone was easier to speak longer with, "I forgive you. They all do." He pulled back, gave Derald one last pat on the shoulder. "See you around, Derry," The corners of his mouth edged up in a not-quiet-as-rare-as-it-used-to-be smile, and then he was gone.

The breeze trailing in from the window kicked up a bit, ruffling the Victor's hair before it died down into nothingness

Subject: Re: Just let me sleep Mon Jul 14, 2014 1:05 am

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Derald just nodded continuously as Xavy talked. His mind already in this constant turmoil, trying to figure out to do. And the words that he had been hoping that he wouldn't hear so soon made his stomach turn. "But you know the nights are my kinda thing." he grinned to him last time before Xavy pulled him in for a hug, no illusion, no see-throughs, no going through him. It was just a real, real hug. Derald pulled his arms around him quickly and held him in tightly, not wanting to let go. He let out a shaky breath as he could feel the time slipping away. There was this one thing he wanted to tell him, one nagging thing. But what Xavy whispered to him made him lose his mask and he let himself break, a couple of tears spilling out. Xavy let go faster than he wanted him to and was almost gone. "No wait I-" Derald tried to reach out and stop him but he vanished like he just became the wind. He dropped his hand and let whatever he wanted to say come out, "I'm sorry." It's been stuck for 2 years, no harm letting it all out, and maybe Xavy was still around to listen. Because he never told him that. Not once. "I'm sorry," Derald repeated himself clearer this time, looking out the window and stood there for quite a while in silence. Sleep? Very funny, Xavy. He just gave Derald way too much to think about for one night.

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