Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...?

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Adara Phillips
Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Avsm

"I'm going out!" Adara called out to a full house, although it might as well have been empty. She sighed. "Eh, who am I even talking to?" she muttered under her breath, and rested her hand on the cold, marble doorknob for a moment, hesitating before opening it. What if I see... no, it's not going to happen. The odds of either one of them being here... no. It won't happen. It can't. Adara made of her mind and stepped outside into the cold morning air. It's so nice out today, she thought, pleased, and closed her eyes for a second, strolling forward. All was well... or was it?

As she closed the gate to her house behind her, Adara dared to open her eyes. She looked up at the slightly overcast sky, the sun shining bright white light through a mask of pale clouds that might later spill rain, but were peaceful for the time being. Perfect, she noticed with great satisfaction. It was her favorite kind of weather. Today will be a good day. Her smiled grew and she skipped out onto the street. Suddenly, she felt her shoulder knock into someone's arm. Instinctively, Adara straightened up, guessing that they were probably taller than her and she had too keep up her guard if they were someone who knew about last year, and all that had happened. She needed to project confidence regardless, but it was more important to keep her cool if they were- "No," she whispered under her breath, so quietly that only she could hear as she turned her green-blue eyes to see who it was, only to find it was her worst nightmare coming to confront her. "Anyone but you."

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Sun Apr 29, 2012 9:11 pm

.:.:•GRIFFIN•:.:.
Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Boy-cute-francisco-lachowski-fransisco-lachowski-guy-Favim.com-369455

I had ran into Maria earlier. She was a sweet girl who was really growing on me. We are walking together just talking, when I bump into someone. I look at the person and see a girl that I kinda know. "Oh hi." I say. My voice isn't high, but isn't too deep etheir. I smiled brightly at her. "Adrada, right?" I said, hoping that it was her name. I knew her, but not that well.

I begin to start walking again but the way that her eyes are fixed on me stops me. I walk back and look at the girl. "Hey, you okay? You look a little lost." I asked. I knew the way she was looking at me, but didn't say it. Maybe it's better she doesn't think I know what she's thinking.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:01 pm

MARIA DEZLIN
Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Tumblr_m2ltt5lFaX1qba7sa

Earlier today I had bumped into Griffin, he was a nice guy and I was still nice to him despite how he did sort of cause the incident last year with Adara, but what ever it was in the past and it was partially my fault, I didn't hold things against people though it wasn't right. When Griffin and I were talking to each other he had bumped into someone and when I looked up to see who it was, it had been Adara. I should have known if we were in this area we'd see her eventually. I gave a small smile and a wave to Adara, I wasn't trying to be her friend again I was being polite, I still hadn't forgotten what she had said to me when she blamed me for the whole kissing the crush thing. He had kissed me and it hadn't been the other way around but she had seemed to think so. Griffin had kept walking and so I slowly began to follow and took one glance back at Adara before continuing, that was when I bumped into Griffin. "Sorry." I said quietly and just stood still awkwardly as the two looked at each other.

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Adara Phillips
Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Avsm

Adara narrowed her eyes. Half of her mind was screaming about how dare Maria smile at her like that, especially considering who she was walking with? Another quarter was frozen, and the final piece was bugging her to let the mishap go and grin back. She decided on going with both sides, and smiled, but made it obvious her smile was fake. She glanced over at Griffin for a second, then back at Maria. Remember who you're talking to, even if you don't like him that much anymore... she warned herself, and put on a nervous expression. She felt stupid standing in front of her house, which clearly showed that her family was wealthy, and wished she was somewhere else. For a moment, the nervousness was real, and she fought to keep it that way on the outside while keeping her cool on the inside.

"Nice morning, isn't it?" she said softly, and shivered. "I love when the sky is cloudy enough to make the light this bright..." she trailed off, biting her lips and looking up at the two with wide eyes. "It's been a while since I've seen either of you. Umm, well... how are you? How's life?" she asked, then mentally slapped herself. Darn it, you'd better have not sounded like you were mocking them. One slip-up could ruin everything. Give in to your feelings of missing Maria as a friend, but feeling betrayed, all the sad stuff, and pour it into your voice. Come on, you know how to act; you can do better this! she scolded herself. Adara was sickeningly reminded of her parents by the way she phrased the last though, but it needed to be done.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:34 pm

These two girls made everything seem awkward. I start pacing around with my shoes. Many don't get the style of shoe, but I love it. My ancestors would wear a style like them. I beilieve they were called basketball shoes, but I'm not certain. They're mostly red but have some white. "It's a great day." I softly touch the tip of Adara's blonde hair. This would drive my ex-girlfriend crazy in a good way when I was 15. Then we broke up and Maria came along.

"Yeah it's been a while. I haven't seen much of etheir of you." I pushed my hair back. I kick some ash around. We're nearby a mine right now but in district 12, you're always near a mine. I hate them though. Well, because of my father. I loved him but I don't dwell on his death. I'm over it. I look up but do another little kick with my shoes.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:19 am

I felt bad considering it must have been very awkward for Griffin to be caught in the middle of this situation but when he went over and started talking to Adara I wanted to smack my face or like sneak away, it was difficult to be around Adara when she seemed to hate me so much, it wasn't very fair that I lost both my brothers and then I lost my her as a friend but it wasn't my fault! She went ahead and accused me of it and then went on to insult my family, it wasn't my fault I was poor and I was from the Seam, you didn't just choose where you came from. Then that's when Griffin play with Adara's hair a bit, I wasn't much of a jealous type but it tugged at strings a bit but I wouldn't let it show on my face, mostly these days I was half insane based on everything I had lost. I hadn't healed yet and I didn't know when I would.

I just stayed still and watched them talk a bit and when Adara asked how our lives were I wanted to attack her, she knew my situation and my family, was she mocking me? If so she was cruel. That wasn't fair! Wasn't my fault I wasn't rich and wasn't fed well and she was! I kind of wanted to rip her eyes out for that but that was my partially insane side speaking, I relaxed my face a bit and put on a smile again hoping to have happier thoughts.

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Adara Phillips
Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Avsm

Adara flinched slightly when Griffin touched her hair. She wasn't angry, just surprised. "Sorry..." she murmured, and gave a weak smile. She could tell that Maria had taken what she'd said the wrong way. Or was it the right way? Adara couldn't be sure. She didn't even know what to say next, so she paused, letting the awkward silence swell up like a balloon before she mentally grabbed a pair of imaginary scissors and popped it. "Look, I..." I don't know if I can deal with this right now, she finished in her head, not daring to say the words out loud. Come on, think of something sweet enough to act innocent without showing weakness in front of Maria. Finally, she thought of something. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. "I was just heading out to the... erm, you know what? Nevermind. I don't want to be rude and leave in the middle of a conversation. Sorry," she apologized, looking down as if ashamed.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Tue May 01, 2012 12:17 am

"Sorry for Uhh...." I was confused, but of course, you can't win with girls. I pushed by hat upwards, it was another style of hat like my male ancestors mostly wore. "You do relize you aren't finishing your sentences, right?" I say, stating the obvious. "It's cool. You weren't being rude just... Ya know, eh, nothing."

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Adara sighed, not daring to look up. "Oh, I'm sorry..." she said, and turned to Maria. "So, who- whoops, I mean what have you been doing with your time?" she asked her former friend with a hint of hate in her eyes, clearly conveying the meaning as relating to Griffin. "You don't usually hang around here, do you? And I'd hate to make you uncomfortable..." she hissed at Maria, "So why don't we continue this conversation somewhere else? I'm sure we've got a lot to talk about." She stuffed her own uneasiness about being in front of her house down the drain and converted it to subtle sinister emotions. "I hear the coal mines are nice this time of year," she mused, swallowing sarcasm with every word.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Tue May 01, 2012 3:03 am

When Adara focused her attention on me I was sighed and I knew it'd come eventually. Everything she had said had a sinister meaning to it and I knew it. I didn't come here to be flash simple stupid words in her face or have them thrown in my face, I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of getting to me or creating a fight of sorts. "Really, that rather much my business is it not?" I say innocently and quietly. When she mentioned being uncomfortable I shook my head, "Don't be silly, I'm quite comfy to be honest." I said matter of factly and then I looked up at the sky and then my eyes wandered between Griffin and Adara. This time of year... The coal mines? That's when it clicked, around this time of year awhile back my oldest brother died in a coal mine accident, was this some kind of twisted joke? Oh dare she even hint at it. I ignored it for now though. "Maybe it's best if I...Go." I said silently.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Tue May 01, 2012 10:16 pm

I got a hateful look in my eyes. "It's a horrible time of year in the mines. My father died this time of year. It's not fun to.... Nevermind." I turned away from both of them for a minute, tears growing in my eyes. But I wouldn't let them fall. "Sure, you two can have a little talk." I say, and its pretty obvious I'm about to cry. My voice is a bit cracky. I stand, thinking about the horrible day my father died.

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(OOC: I apologize in advance for this post. XD)

Adara froze. Oh, god, she thought, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. Why on earth did I say that? I honestly just wanted to leave! Sure, I was yelling at Maria before, but that wasn't part of it! Why do I always say something I can't be sure is socially correct? I thought- ugh, nevermind. STOP PANICKING, she told herself sternly. Calm down and think up a darn solution. She sighed, smoothing her dress down with her hands and letting her eyelids fall open once more, but tilting her head down, trying to burst into tears. She thought of her own parents dying, but it wasn't sad enough to make her cry. She pondered the possibility of her twin sister, Savannah, getting killed in the mines and somebody mentioning them like she had, but, although it made her feel horrible, didn't make her cry, so Adara dug deeper. She thought of every time somebody had ever told her she wasn't good enough. She thought of every word that came out of her mouth that she had ever regretted. She thought of every single moment in her life where she had felt like there was nothing to live for. And secretly, she thought of the instant she had seen Maria kissing Griffin. The instant it all changed. The instant her heart broke.

With that, a single teardrop swelled in her eye. She forced more to come out, and in a few seconds it looked realistic enough for her approval, because it wasn't all fake. The causes of the sorrow were real, after all. All I'm doing is amplifying them, Adara thought to herself, and wiped the six tears she had managed to procure from her face. "Oh, god, I'm sorry..." she muttered. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't- I shouldn't have- I don't know why I- you know what? Nevermind. Who gives a shoe? There's no excuse..."

When she turned to speak with Maria as Griffin had mentioned, because she knew if she didn't she might say something else that would be taken the wrong way by the one who would essentially choose the winner of the battle she and Maria were fighting, Adara shoved her hair out of her face and stuffed it behind her ear. Thinking about that day last year had reminded her too much of her hate for the girl who was once her friend, obliterating any chance she'd had at ever listening to the other girl's side of the story without dismissing it completely, and she blamed this for what she did next. Adara pulled her gaze up to Maria, and directed the anger and resentment there, where she hoped a smug expression would be (OOC: I'm not trying to powerplay by saying there is one, I'm just saying she's trying to justify her outbreak, which, I warn you, is pretty long and kind of unrelated, but it relates to what they were all thinking, kind of, maybe, a little bit, if you look at it sideways... :\) so she could feel better about the words that were about to stream from her mouth, and shut her eyes again just in case there wasn't. "I'm sorry. I'd better go. Obviously I'm just too much of a stuck-up, bratty, sheltered little rich girl with an absolutely perfect life to understand what it's like to be sad or lonely or feel hopeless, just because I say things that are supposed to be positive and raise the catastrophically low mood in the atmosphere of this conversation, but no, they don't, and now the mood is even worse. It's not positive, because I can't even say one word right that doesn't offend you and you aren't even a part of my life anymore so I have no idea what's going on and I'm out of practice dealing with this kind of mistake, and not because I haven't made any, but because I haven't had to worry about who I was hurting for a long time. So go ahead, make me the antagonist, it doesn't matter anyway. What matters is that people are dead and that I am turning this into a story, and I guess maybe I am the antagonist, because clearly I'm the only one doing anything wrong," she spat, the words flowing too fast for even her to understand or filter at all. It briefly came to her attention that real tears were threatening to spill at any moment now, but she knew they wouldn't, because the reason for crying had already been used up in her little speech. Adara felt strangely serene. She glanced guiltily back at Griffin, and then at Maria with a glare. "Nevermind. It's not like it'd make a different to you anyways, and it's not like I'd want it to, and if you tried to sympathize, I might try to slap you, because I've made up my mind, and I'm done. I'm done with these tattered remains of a friendship and hopeful lies that just end p making it worse when the truth comes out. I thought maybe, maybe, we could put it back together again this time, but not anymore. Don't worry, though, it's not you. It's me. Or maybe it is you. Hm, yeah, no, sorry, it was my fault this time, I've gone and ruined that chance with my own attempt at just trying to care, so you know what? I guess we're even."

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 12:23 am

"I'M SORRY! OKAY?! I'M SORRY THAT I KISSED YOUR FRIEND. I'M SORRY THAT I HAVE NO FATHER. I'M SORRY FOR FAILING AT LIFE." I shouted, with some tears in my eyes at Adara. "Maybe at the next reaping I'll just voulenteer. I'll just die. Would that make everything better?! I'm sure it would. You wouldn't be fighting. You wouldn't worry about me. Yes, I think that's what I'll do."

Then I look down at my arm. I see a two bracelets. They each made one for me. "I don't need these anymore. I should've known this would happen." I threw the brackets down. "I'm leaving." I went out of their sight and sat down on the grass for a few minutes.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 1:14 am

I stood there looking at the two of them, they created a lot of conflict and frankly it didn't amuse me, anger me, upset me, or anything for that matter. I was like a stone wall and it felt as if my feet had millions of bricks on them and I couldn't move them. My face felt emotionless and my body felt empty, hollow. No one was home and I was somewhere else, somewhere far away. I wasn't myself and when this happened it was like something inhuman took over my body and it felt a bit cold when this happened. Instead of anything being sad out of my mouth I was staring so far off that my vision changed and I was having a flashback.

I was younger and I was sleeping on the ground in a rag that we called a blanket, I was waiting and waiting the minutes ticking by the utter silence of nothing, no sign. Why was I staring at the ruins of a coal mine? It didn't make sense and I was confused. What was I waiting for? That's when I heard something and someone came up to surface, the man with his messy brown hair and scrawny face came up to me and wrapped me in a hug, "Sorry for your loss lil'missy." I had been confused, what loss? I didn't loose anything, what was this man talking about. "He's dead.. your brother.. his body.. wasn't found." At that moment I felt even more hollow and it changed to the day I was sitting beside a bed. A small figure was in the bed and I was singing songs to the form under the blankets and I began hugging the form when that's when no sound or movement was coming I pulled the blankets back and found my dead brother. My little brother. My heart would have been heavy but there wasn't much left to be bothered. Lastly it flickered to the day Griffin and I were just talking and then he had came and kissed me and soon Adara came around the corner and raged on me. It almost broke into a fight. Adara blamed me and it wasn't like enough had already happened in my life, Adara had to go out of her way and push my life down more, of course Adara had parents who neglected her which wasn't the best but she didn't loose any family did she? No she didn't she still had her family it was better than none and at least they always had food on the table. Now was when the darker side of me wanted to take over and be formed with hatred and display it at Adara for ruining me and maybe attacking her would be great fun as well.

I was still in this weird state but soon all the sad memories played over again and my eyes blinked, my body was no longer hollow, how long I was out like that I don't know but I was back and I fell to my knees and the pain weighed down hard on my heart and it wouldn't leave, I was being weighed down and it felt like I sank through the ground but all that happened was tears running down my face over and over again, I couldn't help it how was I supposed to deal with everything that happened, just be all 'whatever' about it? No. Today was the day I finally broke, Adara and Griffin both broke me I was on the verge of it before but now I had completely broke. The tears wouldn't stop and my vision was blurry from the new warm tears forming in my eyes. "Just..Just go after him..You've always wanted him. You take the chance get the boy..I didn't do anything when he was there." I mumbled I shook. "I don't care.. Just go.." I said softly and still she hadn't left quite yet. She didn't need to be here and I didn't want pity from her and I didn't want her to become magically my friend again just like that, that's not how it worked. "Just go." I said again hoping she would. "Just go!" I shouted at her, "You said you liked him first anyway.. I don't care about anyone anymore, it's just a waste of time and I'm done with everything. I'm not going to volunteer like Griffin.. I'll stay here and just live with my sorrows, it's all my life ever was since day one. So just go already." I paused. "Leave.. GO!" I shouted at her more as the tears kept coming bit by bit.

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"I don't even like him anymore, Maria, okay? But I'm still going to run off, because at least I care what happens when run off screaming that they might just kill themselves in the Hunger Games. But I'm coming back. This happens to be my house, you know. It wouldn't be if I hadn't mentioned coal mines, of course, and we had all just moved on. But I did. So it happened. I can't change it. I can't go back in time and switch the past to fit the way I want it to because that's impossible. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. After all, we're human, right? But I'm trying to be a nice human. It's weird. It's a new thing for me, although not as new as you'd think, but that doesn't matter. None of this should matter that much, and I'm the only one with no right to cry, but- wait. Did he say...? Oh god."

Adara twirled around and ran off wherever she thought Griffin was, her rage temporarily broken by confusion, but she couldn't see him. Oh well, maybe he can hear me... maybe not... I don't know, it just has to be said. "Wait, what? I wasn't even talking to you, really, but- wait a minute... you were the one who kissed- she didn't- what? So all this time... oh god. That's.... wow. I never expected to hear it from you, only as an excuse from Maria, but... you..." Adara gasped. She suddenly realized what this meant. If Griffin kissed Maria, and not the other way around, then... ooohhh. Feathers. "Well, this is awkward," she whispered. "Erm... look... don't worry about it. It's not your fault. I though- I mean- when you tell your best friend about a guy you like, then they're kissing, that's bad, right? But a guy kissing someone who is friends with someone else? There's nothing wrong with that. Or a best friend being kissed by the guy they both like when she knows the other girl likes him, too... but still... can't forget the fact that we were friends, and now we're not, and I said things... and we... but.... great, now I can't finish my sentences again.... so confused... I need to just- I don't know. I guess we all need to breathe, but didn't we have to do that anyway?" she rambled, stumbling back over to Maria and balancing on the gates of her own house, head spinning. "I don't- I don't know... I... I-I-I-I spent the last entire year devoting my life to- no. Not Important. You don't matter, Adara. Remember? You're not even good enough to matter, so stop talking to yourself, and, more importantly, stop acting like your even relevant to this whole conversation or issue or whatever it's called because you don't matter, now stop diverting your attention from what DOES matter to telling yourself you don't matter, because you don't... what? Since when do I talk to myself? I- what?" she blinked, shaking her head to clear it. When she was once again conscious of what she was saying, Adara hustled over to where Griffin was again.

"Okay, sorry, look... don't kill yourself. Don't give up. Don't volunteer for your own death because of two stupid girls who shouldn't be affecting you life this much, okay? I shouldn't even tell you not to, because it should be your decision, but you aren't failing at life. Not at all. You're just in a bad spot, and I can't make myself get angry right now, but if I do later and I start this whole thing again without saying what I'm saying now, please, please don't kill yourself or anything like that. It's not worth it to throw your life away for this," she said quietly, and stalked off in another direction with her hands in the pockets of her jacket and her head bowed low over slouched shoulders. She collapsed on the ground a little ways away, exhausted with the current situation, and didn't bother moving. I feel like it should be snowing.... maybe raining... but I'm happy it's not. the unaffected part of her noted. She groaned and curled up into a ball, not wanting to move ever again.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 8:25 pm

"Just go away!" I shout at Adara. Then I find a sharp rock on the ground and begin to cut my arm with it. I know Maria is watching but I don't care. A dot of blood appears. Then another, and another. I look up at the sky and whisper so it's unadudible, "I gess I'll never get the girl I wanted after all." There's a reason that I kissed Maria. Because I love her. And still do.

I look up at Maria. "I didn't think I would have ruined your life last year," I say, continuing to deeply cut myself. "I still love you like I did then. I didn't know Adara loved me, but she can't change the fact that even when I die soon, I'll love you." The gash is getting pretty serious.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 8:38 pm

I had no idea what to say to either one of them, it had all crashed to the ground and everything had turned and twisted and I just didn't know anymore. I had no idea on life or what to think anymore, I was messed up and every piece of me felt like it was spread out all around the world and out of my reach and it only made more tears run down my face. As I looked up I saw Griffin out in the distance. He was cutting himself with a rock, was he really considering killing himself? I couldn't take it.

I shakily got up and walked over to him and as I did I heard him speak to me and I was stunned I looked down, "You didn't ruin my life last year." I said softly and I came to my knees again and crawled over to him, I stopped his hand and I took the rock out of his hand and threw it away. I ripped off a piece of my shirt and wrapped it tightly around his more serious cut, not too tight though just enough. I put my hand over it adding pressure and then I leaned in and kissed him. I didn't want him to suffer like this or try to kill himself like this. I pulled back, "Please don't do this..Don't be the next person to leave my life." I spoke quietly.

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Adara stayed hunched over on the ground. She opened her eyes but kept her head down, dimly aware of Maria and Griffin kissing, but too confused to care. She mumbled incoherently to herself and rolled over onto her stomach, stretching out her legs. "Darn it, my dress'll get all dirty... should I be mad? Why am I not upset about this? I guess I really don't like him anymore... but shouldn't I be upset about not winning? What's going on?" she whispered, thinking aloud but inaudibly. "I guess I am the antagonist, if they're the couple... but I don't feel antagonistic, although I can be that way sometimes.... why not? What's wrong with me? Ugh, I'm so confused..."

I guess I'd better do what I do best, then. she realized. Well, other than anything with scissors. Unless... no, Adara, stop it. it would not help your case if either Maria or Griffin suddenly had an unwanted haircut or anything of the sort. Well, actually, I could always- gah, no, get back on track... okay! What I do best... what DO I do best? Act? Lie? Do makeovers? Eh, close enough, if you think outside the box. Things change. People change. Life changes. I can still win this. Adara told herself, and smiled. She stood up and shuffled over the the couple with a few tears still swimming in her bright blue-green eyes, preparing to voice the words spinning around in her brain like a spider unraveling an overly complicated web.

"Hey, look, I know I haven't really done much to move you guys along before, but technically, if I hadn't started screaming, you MIGHT never have done this, which might have been good, might have been bad, whatever. Obviously, you'll take care of each-other and this was meant to happen, merp merp merp merp merp merp, etc, etc. I quit. I don't remember when I stopped liking you, Griffin, but it's been a while, and now that I know what really happened with Maria... I guess essentially you maybe kinda-sorta didn't completely and totally betray me, in a sense, so it's all good. Seriously. Go on. Be a couple. You, what, have my blessing, I guess, not that you should have ever needed it in the first place. And Maria, this part's kind of hard to say, but... I'm sorry. I honestly am. I never should have insulted your family, because it is part of who you are, and we were supposed to be friends. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain when I thought you'd kissed Griffin, and most of all, I'm sorry for adding another rough streak to your life. I don't really know if I want to be your friend again yet, so I'm not even going to bother asking, regardless of your answer. If you're human, this won't even mean anything to you. People get mad, blow up, become furious. It happens, and I don't really care if you forgive me. I just want you to accept that I forgive you."

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 10:03 pm

I felt Maria kiss me. Then she tends to my arm but Adara keeps talking. "Adara, please just go. You're begging for false sympathy." I wasn't an idiot. She was still trying to beat Maria. Then I turn back to Maria. "I'm sorry. I really wish this could work, but it wouldn't be fair to Adara. Maybe one day we can." It took all of my power to say that.

My voice cracks a bit and I swallow hard, a lump in my throat. It begins to get Extremly diffucult to breath. I start coughing a little bit. Then I calm myself down a bit. I'm still sitting on the ground, but my hat has fell off.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 10:27 pm

It was truly a miracle, I seemed to feel things again and the complete emptiness had gone but not completely it was still there but now it was controllable and I didn't have to be as unstable as before. When Adara spoke to me I nodded knowing what she was saying but Griffin came into it. I just let it be, maybe Adara and I weren't on bad terms anymore but things had changed, she had changed and I had changed. It wouldn't be the same again if we were friends, maybe one day but not today.

When Griffin turned me down it did have impact on me and I did want to run crying but that only drew a bit of attention to me. "It's fine." I said with a weak small smile. "I just wanted to show you at least I cared if you were to die." I said and took a deep breath, "Just..Don't kill your self." Secretly I wanted to scream, scream at them all and then also yell at Griffin telling him Adara didn't like him anymore she had just said it to him. I didn't though. Things had never changed before between us after he kissed me..I hadn't done anything about it and now I guess it was an eye for an eye. I put a bit more pressure on his arm but I slowly let go and got up. I couldn't stay in that area any longer if I did something would break inside my gears and then I would surely attack someone and hurt them, why hurt them when I already did so many times before...Because of me being so unstable and useless from last year I had some how hurt them. "I think I'm going to go." I said softly and quietly.

I walked off without another word, I just walked and nothing else could have relieved me from the weights on my heart, the farther I was from people the better. I ended up in a small meadow, it was still, quiet, peaceful, beautiful and just breath taking. It was all I needed so far. I took a very big deep breath in and breathed out, it calmed me and I let the wind hit my face lightly.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Thu May 03, 2012 11:17 pm

I now regret the words. I should've told her what I really feel. My heart feels as if it's being poisoned as Maria says the words. Then she says she's leaving. I give her some distance but follow her when Adara isn't looking. She'll never know. Maria headed to a meadow and she sat down. I sat next to her after a while. Then it was silent for a few minutes. "She isn't hear now. I can speak my truth."

Without any question, I kissed Maria. It wasn't a kiss just for repaying my debt. In fact, I don't care about my debt. It was about having the feeling of her near me, to be happy again. "I know I'll never have a chance with you. But I just want you to know that the first time I saw you, I knew you were perfect. And I still feel the same way. I want you in my life."

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Fri May 04, 2012 12:37 am

I was alone for awhile and when I was just about to feel safe enough to cry that's when Griffin sat beside me and I had to push my feelings down again and save the crying for later. When he speaks I look at him but soon enough his lips met mine and I was shocked this time but also confused, he just pushed me away earlier and now this?

"You keep pushing me away, and right now, Griffin isn't the best time anyway." O said thinking about if something did happen between us. It wouldn't happen any time soon though, I could assure anyone that. I wasn't healed but I knew I was finally on the right path to healing and fully gaining back my self. "Truth is, I lost my brother in a mining accident and then years down the road..Well just last year right before the thing with you and Adara, my little brother died and I closed off everything and I wasn't myself and then the events with Adara and you were both confusing and halfway broke me...Today you two both broke me completely and I thank both of you entirely because now I feel like I have a chance to heal." I said sighing and then look in his eyes. "On another note, I do feel the same way about you but it's hard for me to express feelings right now because of my past and yea." I said taking a deep breath in calming myself.

Guest

Adara sighed, not moving from her spot and standing solid. "Wow. Some people really just don't accept it when you don't like them anymore. I mean, if I were one of them, I'd suspect me of being mad at Maria, or maybe Griffin, but honestly, 'I don't like you' is 'I don't like you.' Gawd. This is another reason that I don't like him. I'm talking to myself now, aren't I? Oh well. The great thing about taking to yourself is there's nobody around to hear you... unless of course, there is, in which case you aren't really talking to yourself!" she noted, giggling. "Ah, well, I'd rather not go see them smooch, so I'd better get home. Or maybe I will go to the coal mines. I mean, my dress is already ruined. But first I need to shut up...."

She shrugged her shoulders once to loosen them up, then skipped down the road to her house, humming quietly. I'm glad that's over. Well, I'm glad they think it's over, at least. Because when the time comes to fight it out, I'm the only one who'll be ready. Step 1: Give them some alone time and wait for an opportunity to commence Step 2. Adara smiled, confident that she would not lose this battle, although she wouldn't win as she had originally planned. But there are other ways to win... Adara thought, and lay down on the floor in front of her house, accepting that her dress was ruined once and for all. "Oh, well," she whispered in a sing-song voice, "Who cares if they think they've won? It's not even close to over yet."

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Sat May 05, 2012 10:07 pm

I nodded as Maria told me everything. I stroked her hair softly, it's something that's calms most people. "I know how it feels Maria. I lost my father in the mines." I swallowed as I said it, barely making the words come out. I continued stroking Maria's hair. "I can help you recover. Please let me."

Once Maria seemed calmer I notice she's holding in tears. "You can cry. Don't be embarrassed." I say softly.

Subject: Re: Of All People, Why Did it Have to Be...? Sat May 05, 2012 11:10 pm

I looked at him and as his hand came towards me I was about to cringe away but he was only stroking my hair, I was mostly confused at first considering I hadn't been paid attention to much by anyone. When he mentioned his father I gave him a small warm smile. We both had lost someone due to the mines. When he said he could help me recover my eyes flickered down. Could I handle it? Maybe that was just part of recovering.

Next he must have noticed the tears I was holding back and I took a deep breath in. "I don't want to cry though..Well I do but..It's a weakness." I say softly and quietly. I had a nagging feeling it wasn't over with Adara, it was a gut feeling that she was plotting something but I let it go. "You can help me recover." I said in a soft voice that was barely even a whisper.

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