Only know you've been high when you're feelin' low, Only hate the road when you're missin' home, Only know ya love her when you let her go... And you let her go

How long had it been? A month, two maybe? The afterlife was a weird place, hard to keep track of time. Cai found that ironic, carrying around a broken watch all his life. If only he’d fixed the damn thing.
Was this a beach? Sand and water, like what was in her necklace, but on a vast scale. Why was there a beach anyway? Too many questions, he decided. Just sit down. He’d never seen anything like this in his life; he thought he could, one day. Because that’s what she loved. Damn. Was that why he’d come here? No, he didn’t want to see her. Not today... Maybe tomorrow... Or next month... Or the year after that... Or… Cai got to his feet, his bare toes covered in sand. He shouldn’t be here, he decided, and turned around, starting to leave. But a noise, something, made him stop. He couldn’t run now. "A...Amaya?"

Sorry It's a bit short/ a lot early but I couldn't think straight enough to do my project so meh. Enjoy.

Only know you've been high when you're feelin' low, Only hate the road when you're missin' home, Only know ya love her when you let her go... And you let her go 5m9g7

Amaya sat there on the docks with her brother. It was just like old times, except nothing much that they exchanged felt like old times. Sometimes, They rather no talk at all and just be thankful for each others company. But today was different, today they both felt very chatty. "Croissant fingers or spinach ears?" "What the hell? Who would want wiggling croissants on their hands?" Amaya laughed as she hung upsidedown over the edge of the dock's side. "I dunno, hungry people?" Skye shrugged and poked at her stomach and Amaya rolled her eyes. But afar she spotted a figure on the sand. It was a very familiar figure. She had the urge to know who it was, because at the back of her mind there was always this doubt; that Kaira was never checked up on, that district 3 never had their victor, that he never got his chance to live. Amaya pulled herself up to see the figure right side up and that made her brother turn too. He looked to her and decided to get up, taking his leave for his sister because he could feel it her worries, the sudden drop in her expression, the shared emotion he felt from her. He squeezed her shoulders and gave her a quick hug from behind before taking his leave. Amaya just stared for a couple of moments, not really sure she wanted to go up to him because what if he was not him? What if he didn't want to see her? But he was already taking his leave and she bit the bullet and just bolted after him.

"Wait!" She called out as she got closer, heart sinking as the figure became way more familiar than she wanted him to be. When he turned and she saw his face. Her eyes asked him the question her mouth couldn't say but she already knows the answer. Hearing him speak just proves it that he was there, and she wasn't going crazy. He didn't make it. And it made her heart sting seeing him here like this, or seeing him here at all. And she could feel the tears coming back. When did she become this weak? Amaya knelt on the sand and buried her face in her hands. She wasn't sure if she could hug him or not, but to have his presence close by, it made it so comforting and so dreadful at the same time.

It was her. Too soon for this, he didn't know what to say. All he even tried to do was take a step back, trying to get away. What if she hated him? What if she didn't? What if, what if, what if...Wait. There were tears in her eyes. And then she was in the sand, and he couldn't just leave her like that. "I..." He stopped. What was there to say? 'I didn't win'? 'I screwed up'? 'Sorry but I couldn't do a single damn thing you'd asked me to'? He dropped to the ground in front of her, kneeling down and putting his hands in the sand. She had her face covered, but he still couldn't look at her. He kept his eyes on the sand, even when he finally spoke. "Amaya, I... I am so, so sorry," It hurt to say her name again, and he couldn't help but wonder how she'd take it. Would she even believe what he said?

Amaya could feel Cai drop down in front of her, but it was as if he was afraid to get close to her. Even if she wanted to be mad at him, she couldn't. What was there to be mad about? She heard him apologise to her, but what's the point of apologising when it won't change anything? Was she pissed? Sure she was. But she spent more time thinking about how he was doing than hating him for it all. Amaya dropped her hands to reveal a glimpse of her teary smile before throwing her arms around him, practically tackling him backwards onto the sand. Was she selfish to have been the slightest bit happy that he was here? Probably. Having him so close by made her almost glad he's here, not back there.. She buried her face in his shoulder as she asked in a muffled voice, "Did it hurt?" It hurt like a bitch when she was dying. So did Skye. And somehow it was the first thing that she was concerned about Cai, whether it hurt when he was dying, or whether it was a quick easy one. She still didn't let go of him, and just hold onto him tightly, afraid that if she did he may just disappear again.

He hadn't expected her arms around him. Not warmly, like this, at least. He was on his back in the sand, pinned there by her embrace. And then he just had to smile to himself. He'd been so worried for so long that... what, exactly? Kill him? He was already dead. Hate him? Not like that mattered if he spent the rest of eternity avoiding her. He wrapped an arm around her and just held her there, even as she asked him a question he didn't want to answer. "Yeah... a little bit," he said after a minute. Because it had. At the end. But in the beginning, he barely noticed the stabs slipping past his shield. And who was he to complain? Amaya had hurt, he knew that. If the last blow hadn't, every wound before it had to have. "I just..." then he chuckled a bit. The whole situation was just too funny, too unexpected for him. "I'm a loser."

yoloshortpostandhuggifwoo

Amaya laughed as her tears created little wet patches on his shirt, "I'll take that as payback," she joked but felt an ache inside when it did hurt for him. She missed him so much, constantly prepping herself so just cope with it, taking that if he wasn't here, at least someone would be taking care of their little sister. And now, all of a sudden he shows up out of nowhere. Where had he been? She asked herself these questions but who cares. He was here now, and she didn't want it to think about anything else. They stayed there for a while before Cai opened his mouth again. It was nice to hear his voice again and it made her grin. She lifted her head off his shoulder and released her hug, supporting on her hands to hold her above him, ponytail falling down onto his face, "Glad you know," she said sarcastically before her eyes melt to real concern and she asked, "Why?" She tilted her head a little, seeing him laugh.

Amaya's ponytail was tickling his nose, so he blew a bit at it, pushing the strands away only to have them swish back when he took in a breath. Eventually he just shook his head at himself and fixed his attention back to the girl the hair was attached to. "Why? Well, I've been a loser all my life," he smiled, wondering why she cared why he said that about himself. "Not smart enough, not fit enough. And you had to have your payback, didn'tcha?" He laughed a bit again. There was nothing bad about it. Except, of course, that they were both dead. But eternal youth was a plus for losing, wasn't it? Cai allowed himself a few more seconds of bliss before he let his smile drop. "So... uh, how've you been?" It felt awkward asking that, but he did want to know. Was she liking the afterlife, for what it was worth, or did she hate it? He hoped Amaya was okay with this state. He'd feel even worse if she wasn't.

Amaya laughed at Cai as his tried to push her hair away from his face and she pulled her pony tail behind to her back. She tilted her head in confusion when he started to diss himself into being a loser. Her carefree smile faltered the more she thought about it. "But not good enough for who? Mum, Dad, Siblings, friends, yourself. You're good enough to me." She shrugged as if matter of fact-ly. "Does that still make you a loser?" She raised an eyebrow as she asked. Why would anyone tell themselves that? The more they say it, the more it becomes true. But she was being hypocritical, knowing fully well that that was how her brother thinks too. And how her brother thinks becomes half of what she thinks. Amaya then shifted her weight onto one hand as she showed in a peace sign while she chuckled, "You know it. An eye for an eye, a kiss for kiss. That's how it's suppose to go, right?" The thought of them... dying made her remember what she did, it was probably out of impulse, instinct, knowing that she probably won't do it again. That made her face heat up and she pushed herself off him to lie beside him in the sand, looking up to the clouds. "..Could've been worse," she hesitated answering, looking back to the time she met her brother again. And she smiled. Yeah it could've been worse, she could've been alive and still have half of her dead inside. Just take the whole package, it makes things easier for everyone. "And I could get used to it," she said optimistically. It's been a couple of months ..ish, that sure takes a while to get used to something. "And what 'bout you? If you.." she lowered her voice to mumble for the next word, "Died... Where were you these past few months? Ish, I don't know how long it's been anymore but, you get my point." Amaya rolled her eyes trying to actually count how long it's been since their Games but time was easily lost around here.

His smile faltered a bit as she didn't take to his statement. "My friends were solving holes in the laws of physics, and I was a grade behind my brother because my IQ wasn't the same as his. My dad tried to-" He cut off as he realized he'd been talking over her. He needed to stop doing that. The smile came back as she went on, and he managed another laugh, "Well, maybe..." And then he winced at her mention of the kiss. It reminded him about what had happened. How he'd treated her. Why he'd stayed away for so long. But now she was by his side and her ponytail had brushed a bit against his shoulder. Yeah, it could've been worse, he supposed. Like right now, when she asked the question he didn't want to answer. "Uh... do you want the truth or a bold-faced lie meant to protect your feelings?" Was it too much to hope she'd settle for the lie?

Amaya started to pout as Cai continued to defend his loser title. "So? What's wrong with being a lil dumber? Nope, that still doesn't make you a loser to me." She flicked his forehead, as if trying to wake him up from the absurdity. She was being persistent because she know it's not true. "..You have a brother?" Amaya hesitated as she asked, she don't remember him mentioning about a brother. Of if he even knows she has a brother. Well the brother topic never came about. She questions her actions of kissing him that day and was almost certain that it was a bad idea. Worse if he was here. She thought she could just kiss him and let it go as he live his life. And now, maybe she has to try and explain herself. While she was panicking about trivial-not-so-trivial stuff like that, Cai continued trying to find the right kind of response to her question. They laid there shoulder to shoulder and she turned her head to the side to face him, "How 'bout both? I'll take it like a man." She grinned, of course she really wanted the truth, but sometimes, curiosity takes over when she wants to know what would've been if he lied about it.

"Whatever you say," He rolled his eyes as she flicked him, smiling a bit to himself. She couldn't change how he defined himself. Then she questioned his statement about his brother and he realized she didn't know much about him. Not as much as he knew about her, anyway. She really had been gone by the time he'd said all that stuff. God, that made it hurt worse, thinking about it like that. "Yeah, Osi. Twin, I should add," Like her and Skye. That was his name, right? She never spoke of him directly, but Cai had picked up on that. "That's a new one. Alrighty," He said, swiveling his head to look her in the eyes. "The lie hasn't been thought up yet. But the truth..." He sighed. Don't hate me Don't be mad Please understand why, "I've kinda been avoiding you..."

Amaya huffed and crossed her arms, "You'll see, one day you'll see that you're not a loser." She perked up though when heard about his twin brother."Hey, twin buddy! You should meet Skye some day, he kinda reminds of you. Except well, slightly more dumb but he's a quiet lil sweetheart." She might've rambled a bit too much, excited about the whole twin thing but then she realised that his brother was still alive. And that was the worst feeling in the world to have yourself ripped apart. "..I'm sorry. Shouldn't have brought it up." She didn't know what their relationship was like but twins are twins no matter what, and it breaks everything inside to be left alone. She would know. When she turned to face him, she grinned, "I'll hold it on you that you owe me a lie." But as the truth came out she wondered if she would've like the lie better. "But why?" she muttered as she tried to make a is it cause I smell joke but refrained from that in the end. She had a guess why but she really wanted to know what's on his mind.

"So I'm like a brother to you?" He joked, finding it funny that he reminded her of Skye. Of course, he never knew the guy, so how would he make a judgement? Her tone dropped and he looked away for a second. "No, it's fine. Well, I'm fine. I don't know about him. But we, uh, we weren't really that close," he tried to brush it off, because really, he hadn't thought much about his old life. Osi and his dad had always been fine, they'd still be okay without him. It wasn't like he was the glue, that'd always been his brother. Amaya's joke pulled him from his thoughts and he half-smiled a bit. At least she wasn't hating him. Yet. But then, in true Amaya fashion, she questioned him. She'd make a better D3 than him, always questioning like that. It wasn't until he looked at her again that a few tears sprung into his eyes. He didn't even deserve those tears, but there they were. "Because I... I killed you. I did that, and... and I didn't..." Cai didn't know how to continue. They both knew what happened. He'd just sat there and let her die without any comfort, without anything. How could he have faced her after that?

Amaya shook her head and laughed, "Hell no, you're nothing like a brother to me. You're more like a..." She tapped her chin and trailed off but shrugged, not really knowing the answer. Or not really wanting to say it out loud. She let out a silent sigh, not sure about how to reply to that, "I.. see. Why weren't you guys close?" Again with her whys. She should just stop questioning everything but she just wanted to get to know Cai better. But now she sounds like some nosy girl butting into someone's life. It was hard to believe at first, because she and Skye were stuck together no matter what, they somehow completed a whole and were as different as cheese and ice. But always together. She let out a sad smile as she lifted a hand to wipe the coming tears on him. She wished that she had reverted back to her strong front of no crying for years. But guess some things just broke her to an irreversible point. She found her own eyes soaked when she heard him say it. That he killed her. "You had to do what you had to do, right? To kill. Besides, no one really liked me so you wouldn't cause any riots anyways." Amaya shrugged, remembering how much she pissed off a couple of people and no one really cared about her. It made her give out a small chuckle and she looked him in the eye, "And I'm not mad y'know."

Cai shrugged at the question, "We just... weren't." That's all there was to it. No explanation really, it just was. The one problem with geniuses, always wanting answers when sometimes things just... were. Maybe that's why he wasn't cut out for Three. He tried to blink the tears out of his eyes, but Amaya got teary too and then there was just no way to prevent them from at least building up a bit. Because what she said could've been true, that he might've had no choice. That he'd done what he'd had to do. But it didn't feel right to play it off like that. "That's not why..." He shook his head. Riots hadn't even been on his mind. What made her think that that's what had worried him? "How could you not be? After all we went through and then I just...How can you not be angry?" He wasn't sure how to handle this...forgiveness? Was that it? He couldn't even forgive himself, how could she act like it hadn't even bothered her?

Amaya didn't say anything to his reason. She'd settle with that just because to her, that was a legit answer. Amaya was basically looking for an excuse to make it all better. She wasn't lying about not being mad though, she really wasn't. She let herself cry without holding back, somehow she just sort of accepted that vulnerable side of her. She used to believe fully that it was being weak to show tears. But what's wrong with being weak? She rolled over to lay on her side, facing him. "Sure I was pissed, for like 5 minutes. And then... I just couldn't bring myself to be mad at you anymore. If you didn't do it, everything else will. GMs hated me, tributes hated me, and somehow, I'd rather that it was you. Because damn those lightning hurt like a bitch," she managed a laugh before she shuddered at the torturing memories.

Her silence scared him. Maybe she'd been lying, maybe she really was mad but had been trying to hide it until that moment. But why would she do that? Her shoulder disappeared from his side and Cai's panic grew a bit more. Why had he reminded her of the facts? What kind of person does that? She was talking now, and he relaxed. Worrying over nothing, as usual. She'd just rolled onto her side, so he did the same, and then there was nowhere to look but her tear-streaked cheeks and he just felt the pain all over again. "Still... you didn't deserve that. Any of that." He laughed with her about the lightning, but that only reminded him how scared he'd been. How funny, he'd been so terrified that he'd lost her, only to turn around and kill her himself a few hours later. Cai blinked those thoughts away, because they only made it more painful to lay here now. "Well, guess both of us were pretty hated, right?" He wasn't sure if that was a joke, all he remembered other than her death was Kira and all those other tributes that wanted him dead just as much as Amaya.

Amaya rolled her eyes at him over the deserving crap, "Neither did you. No one did. But life's unfair." But then again, maybe she did. She constantly thought back about what horrible things she had done. All the names of the people she killed. How many times, those lightning struck her. How many times the GM tried to kill her personally, as flattered as she was. She always had that doubt. That she was just repaying something horrible she had done. She stuck her tongue out at him as she replied, "We made a very scary duo with the targets on our backs, don't we?" She absentmindedly drew in the little space of sand in between them as she added, "Besides, I like you, so that's something, right? Not as much hate as you'd think." She grinned, wiping her wet face once before glancing off from him to the sand for a second to see a bad drawing of a cat.

But he did deserve it, he thought even as she said he didn't. He was the only one who deserved the death he got. Actually, he deserved worse, but beggars can't be choosers. He grinned at her. "That we did, yeah?" He laughed, "and if we count, then you weren't hated too much yourself." He looked down at her fingers in the sand and chuckled a bit at what looked like a cat-stickperson hybrid. "That poor creature," He muttered, looking at it a second longer before trying to draw his own cat. Which turned out just as bad, if not worse. "Uh... nevermind."

Amaya let out a small smile, almost believing that. Well they do count, so she'll take it. In what why she took it, only she'll know. But she tried to keeps her hopes down. "Hey! Its living the good life, okay. Sunny paradise and all." she giggled to her abomination as she drew a smile for it. She looked over to Cai and had to swallow back her laughter at the abomination 2.0. "At least they'll be happy together!" She gave that cat a smile too before she flicked the sand that stuck on her finger at him. She paused and asked, "How are you?" she realised that she never asked him and opened her mouth before she knew it.

Sunny paradise, sure, whatever. Not with these terrible cats running around. "I don't think cats smile..." He wasn't even going to attempt that on his drawing. "Yeah, two happy little misfits, like..." Us, he thought, glancing up to Amaya. But it wasn't right to call her a misfit, right? After all, even if she was hated, she still had a place. Or something. Cai didn't even know where that was going anymore. "How am I? Like, other than being dead? Uh, okay? I dunno, better now I guess," Truth was, he was in a better mood than he'd ever been in, just drawing cats in the sand with Amaya was enough. He reached down into the sand again, this time starting to draw a building. A house of sorts for the little misfits.

Amaya pouted as she pretended to squeeze the cheeks of the cat for a smile, "Aw c'mon, I'm sure deep down they do smile! Maybe not to us mere humans." She then reached over to pinch his cheeks upwards into a smile, "Seeeee, anyone's capable of a smile!" She released his poor cheek and slot her hands under her face as she rested on them, finishing Cai's sentence as he trailed off midway, "Us?" She giggled and sighed as she thought about that, "Yeah, I guess so. It kinda does feel that way, doesn't it?" She watched him as he replied to her and started doodling a little something for their cats. She didn't reply to him about how he was, actually not really knowing how to reply. Why did she even ask that anyways? She left it silent as she let him finish the house for the cats before she sat up, "Okay, c'mon, up and at it!" She held onto his hand as she got onto her feet, pulling him up as well. She kicked off her shoes before dragging him slightly off from the cat camp site.

Cai had laughed before Amaya had even gotten his face to form a smile. "Yeah," he replied when she finished his sentence for him. She was good. But his thoughts trailed from that and his smile disappeared as he finished the cat-house. He'd barely put in the window when Amaya pulled him to his feet. "Hey, what if I wasn't finished?" he laughed at her, but let the girl drag him along. What else was there to do anyway? "Okay, what now? The cats might get lonely." He glanced over his shoulder for emphasis.

"Don't caaaaare," Amaya chimed as she dragged him by the hand closer towards the shoreline. "Oh they'll be fine! They got each other. And my shoes," She followed Cai's gaze back to where they once were. She rocked back and forth on her heels, realising she was still holding onto his hand and quickly let go for the moment, "Well, you said you wanted to learn to dance didn'tcha?" She stood up straight with poise before doing a little curtsey. She looked up to him, grinning, "C'mon it'll be fun!"

"Suuuuuuure," Cai still felt bad for the little cats, but they'd probably get over it. All cats love shoes. He was still thinking about the cats when Amaya spoke again. His eyes went wide as he looked back at her. "When did I...?" he shook his head. He'd had enough of the questions, and he knew how much she loved to dance. Or, at least, he thought he did. " You sure, I'm seriously clumsy. You remember that hill? I rolled down it like a potato." He said with a laugh. Really, it was just the best thing that she was willing to try.

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